A Dillusioned essay

People around us are falling in love for they know each other well, or in the hope of want to color those invisible thoughts that they hope define the person who creates memories and little bursts of happiness in their minds. Thoughts are like energy they form and reform but are never lost until we replace them with other thoughts, when we are aware of the true existence of these thoughts in our head then we are in the know and now on the way to finding who these thoughts belong to and where they came from to serve what purpose, more often than not more than half of these thoughts are void of any need for soulful contemplation existing as a noise to solely forward our existence as animals towards the complex weave of textural experiences keeping us connected to the wired world of exchanges. And then one day you wake up from the last moment thought into a cloud which feels surreally sometimes even divinitively away from physical reality almost a transcending state an un palpable un replaceable thought which swamps your head with endorphins when even just being acknowledged, an unstable high rising from the trenches of your own mind with ease and panache. Is that love? Who is your un replaceable thought?, a thought a person a memory shroud by fumes of mysteries which we don’t want to understand completely but want to call it our own first, then no matter how it changes or morphs it will still be our own and how more alive can an existence be when you have your own secret garden to explore unendingly. Is that what makes mothers love for a child unconditional even under the harshest of conditions in life’s garden coz the child is a branch that may or may not bear the fruit. A little girls love for her first puppy the emperor penguin couples love for their first egg. Love in all its gloriously masking costumes plays the harp to whose tune we dance in all walks and climbs of our life, or is it just a chemical our brain produces which we humans are all easily addicted to? So what happens when you are in love (a un replaceable person) with some one and there’s some one else who (thinks you are un replaceable) loves you? Questions arise don’t they? There is also an innate pleasure when people decide to think the world of you and whose memory you are a colorful part of? Another chemical addiction? We bask in the limelight? Have you ever? We have given them enough reasons to feel about us the way they do but also are you responsible for not feeling about them the same way? Feelings change and emotions get diluted love of all takes the longest time when is true (to u), is understanding the key or is self preservation?
Or do we sacrifice our love to settle for the person you like… who loves you? Can you?

Love for a person is the want for that one person (irreplaceable) to share the pallet of colors with you to paint the canvass of life together,

You’re looking for a person who will paint your vision on the canvass or will you both paint the vision together with your own souls subjectively experiencing itself . Or will she be the inspiration for your painting to begin? Are you hers? Pause, breathe, pause, and think, in all its emancipation a painting unfinished is still a painting isn’t it?

So do we have a choice in changing the person you want to paint with half way through? Or do you continue no matter how different the painting may be turning out to be from your first imagination of it?

Will your painting look more like you want it to be with someone else painting beside you?

Hearts change minds expand love grows?